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Show words ... Think of all the fun I've missed Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed Next year I could be just as good If you'll check off my Christmas list Santa baby, I want a yacht, and really that's not A lot Been an angel all year Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight Santa honey, one little thing I really need The deed To a platinum mine Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a duplex And checks Sign your X on the line Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight Come and trim my Christmas tree With some decorations bought at Tiffany's I really do believe in you Let's see if you believe in me Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing A ring I don't mean on the phone Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight Hurry down the chimney tonight Hurry, tonight I love Christmas. Thanks so much for posting Christmas stuff. I like the mood it puts me in. Santa is great too. Keep it up. Thanks for the fun! Love you, granny. Let's make peace and love on Earth cluckety cluck cluck [pecking intensifies You trying to post automotive stuff is absolutely hilarious. Great fun watching a newbie pretending to know things. You go, newbie! LMAO I'm 76, I like long walks on the beach, dogs, and men who don't step in pupu or own toy drones. I have 3 kids so if you aren't ready to be a father then move on. Oh, I also have FAS and my lawnmower has 4 cylinders. My closest friend is kind of a man, I guess you could call him 'male'. You see, he is afflicted with a nightmarish malady of which there is no cure to be administered. Treatments include stretching, cooling balm, and Vespa rides on Napa. As a nurse, I feel obligated to play the caretaker for my friend. That's why I'm asking for your monthly donation of just 19.99$ per month. That's the price of a cup of soy avocado coffee every day. We'll send you an adorable smolpox bwanket as a thank you for your generous gift (and tax write-off). If you know any men in the Morro Bay area, please direct them to my friend who answers to 'Micropeanus Boy' or 'Micropeanus Jalapeno FASenstein' so he can move his bow els again. Thank you for your attention to this matter. Lovely Older Lady FAS is like the Eveready battery-it just keeps on keeping on. You go, Granny. Lol and I'll leave you alone while I make my delicious donuts, tuuts! Delicious! DONUTS! Deliciousdonuts!! LMAO Then I had to bring up the obvious culprit. *REDACTED* and then you continued *REDACTED* but you weren't done yet. *REDACTED Mom made beans for dinner You know I ate em all She said come get your coat on, we're goin to the mall Gonna visit Santa and sit upon his knee But all that I could think about was how not to cut the cheese While waiting there for Santa, I thought that I'd explode The gas bubble grew bigger with every Ho, Ho, Ho Tried my best to hide it, thought I was doing swell But when I sat down on Santa's lap, he hollered What′s that smell Chorus I farted on Santa′s lap, now Christmas is gonna stink for me I farted on Santa's lap, now I′ll get nothin under my Christmas tree I asked him for a baseball I asked him for a bat I asked him for some ice skates but I′ll get none of that I asked him for a lot of things I'll have to do without Cause when I sat on Santa's lap, I let one slip out On Christmas Eve I snuck out of my bed without a sound Went down to the living room just to take a look around It was then that I saw Santa next to the Christmas tree His arms were full of presents and they were all for me He put them on a pile and got up to turn around And blew a fart with such great force our tree almost came down And so I'll always cherish that special moment when I realized even old Saint Nick rips one now and then I farted on Santa′s lap and Christmas didn′t stink for me I farted on Santa's lap and Santa left one on my Christmas tree Really love you promoting Christmas. Always a happy time of the year. God bless and keep up the spirit and keep my lap warm, kiddos! Ho ho ho no no no please stop drinking, mom I can feel my energy fading like my existence under the spell of FAS. Why didn't my dad stop my mom from drinking while I was a fetus? Section 8 and government support is all that I have achieved in a 73 year life. Being a woman is handicap enough without FAS dictating to me on how to flourish. All I do well is how to flush toilets ...contribute to our story.   Here's where you can contribute. Type something into the box below. Take the story wherever you want. End in the middle of a sentence and the next author can continue from there. Or not. Only the mundane and the idiotic* is disallowed. I am not a spammer:  * HTML tags are allowed. Type <P> or press return a couple times to separate paragraphs. Please do not use extravagant html or post anything overly offensive. If you try to disrupt our fun, you will be banished from this web site. Only one submission at a time. Massfiction won't let you add two submissions in a row.